Look at your email before you send it. How densely do the words populate the screen? How long are the sentences that people will need to navigate? Your recipient(s) may read your message on a tiny phone screen while distracted by life around them, or on an obligatory “email inbox sweep” before getting back to the important work they are paid to do.
On a small screen, your carefully crafted paragraphs may look like a solid wall of words, massive and intimidating. Readers may decide to read the message later, when they have more time. Some never return.
And what about the colleague with a different native language? That person might need to translate that massive block of words before they can respond. That’s asking a lot.
Don’t scare the reader off with a giant wall of words. For online reading, shorten the sentences and break up the paragraphs.
Shorter sentences
Be considerate to the distracted brain reading your email, and pack fewer critical ideas into each sentence. You are also less likely to make grammatical errors in shorter sentences, so everyone wins.
Look for sentences with independent clauses (parts that could stand on their own) and make them into multiple sentences if it makes sense.
Hemingway wrote in short sentences. You can too.
Eliminate unnecessary words
Once you’ve written the draft, look for words that don’t contribute meaning. Here are a few likely candidates:
- Really, very, some, kind of: These words tend to weaken your prose
- In order to can almost always become “to”
- In fact, Honestly, As it turns out: These filler phrases can usually go without being missed
Shorter paragraphs
On a small screen, even a few sentences can add up to an imposing, solid paragraph. If you want people to act on or internalize your email quickly, break up those long paragraphs into shorter ones. Put the points you most want to emphasize in their own paragraphs.
A single-sentence paragraph makes a bigger impact.
The coffee test
Don’t know if your email is too dense? Here’s a fun test: send the email to yourself, then read it on your phone while waiting in line for coffee or making yourself a cup of tea. You may be surprised.
Read more
Find more tips in the book 33 Ways Not to Screw Up Your Business Emails.
